A journey of hope and healing after a decade of infertility and two maternal near-misses.

Turning Over A New Leaf

I have been an incredible slacker with my blog lately.  I knew it had been a long while since I last posted but when I counted four posts over the course of the last year, it made me really sad.  It’s not because of a lack of things going on- far from it actually- I guess I’ve taken to Instagram a lot as my place to process and share news in real time. 

Shortly after my classmate died last year, I stumbled on her widower’s blog and still check in from time to time to see if he’s written anything new.  His posts aren’t literary masterpieces ready for publication, but yet, in a sense they are because they are raw and real.  And maybe, just maybe, someone out there was checking in with my little old blog and wondering why the heck I’m not writing anymore.  It dawned on me that the rawness is what I crave here.  I often wish I had used my blog more to process in real time but I guess the nature of my experiences also made me hesitate and make a bit of sense of it all myself before letting the world in. 

I think my biggest hurdle has been my initial goal to catalog my experiences chronologically.  It’s also my perfectionist mentality- and the quest for accuracy and precision- that has been drilled into me over the course of 15 years by the never ending review processes of working in biotech.  I write something and then I sit on it because it’s not quite ready for prime time yet.  Sigh.  I kid you not; there are dozens and dozens of blog posts and thoughts just waiting to see the light of day.

So, friends, I’m turning over a new leaf.  I’m getting ready to let an awful lot out and in ways I can’t even believe I'm about to post publicly.  My story will continue but all of the side musings and tidbits are coming out in between too.  It’s not going to be perfect but I can assure you, it will be the honest ramblings of a near-miss survivor.

Mood: Let's Do This
Music: Vance Joy- Lay It On Me
Stay Tuned for Part 18: Even Unto Death

Previous Post:  Part 17: Waiting and Fading

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About the Author: Casey Cattell struggled with infertility for more than a decade before giving birth to her son, Nathan, in 2015. She is a two time Maternal Near Miss Survivor writing to give hope to women in the midst of their hardships and to shed a light on the Maternal Health crisis plaguing the United States. Casey and her husband live in the Northeast, USA and in their downtime like to explore new places and hike with their young son. If you liked this post or were encouraged by it, please consider passing it on. Find Casey on Instagram and Twitter.

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